Armageddon

Austin Tyler vs Quinn Harper, #501 (UCW)

Can UCW's new hire Austin Tyler live up to the hype? The hype is, and I quote UCW's Facebook page, "Quinn needs his ass kicked and Austin is the one to do it!" I'm here to tell you Austin is the real fucking deal, as eccentric and as cocky as anyone the company has ever signed to its roster, as eccentric and as cocky as Quinn himself. In fact, Quinn Harper hasn't faced this big and scary  a challenge since his clash with the equally eccentric and cocky Eli Black over three years ago. And only Quinn has been as big a game-changer in his debut match as Austin is in video #501.

First, my congratulations to UCW, a company that has itself been a game-changer and risk-taker in the online wrestling scene, always willing to experiment and unwilling to copycat the tried-and-true formulae of its competitors. Among the many other good things about UCW is its capacity to surprise its diehard fans, among whom I proudly count myself. Few internet wrestling sites provide matches as volatile as this one, which wildly swings in favor of Austin then Quinn in spot after furious spot. And the ass-kickings fly in both directions, and amply, in this 29-minute stunner.

Tyler's pro experience is a factor. He comes on like gangbusters from the get-go and has Harper sweating bullets within minutes. If anyone on the roster could contain and control Austin, it would be Quinn, a terror and a wild card in his own right. I'm telling you Quinn has to work his ass off just to keep pace with this guy. And not to spoil the ending for anybody, I'll say just this: the loser of this brawl does not go down easy--and he goes down with a blitzkrieg punch to the balls and a sudden (!), clean (?) three-count pin--and even the victor will feel the aftereffects of this head-on collision well into 2017!